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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Doctor Professor Scientist Gore Lectures Congress on Science

Doctor Professor Gore, the celebrated inventor of the internet, gave Congress a lecture in science today. Doctor Professor Gore, having an undergraduate background in beer drinking and partying while getting a C- in law studies, threw out all the accumulated scientific methodologies of the ages in favor of "postcard proof" today. "See", he said, "Look at all these postcards... over half a million of them. People have written in from trailer parks and homeless shelters and Hollywood and they all believe in global warming. It proves I am right and the scientists are wrong."

"Global warming is real, and human activity is the main cause," Gore lectured Congress.

When asked about warming on Mars, Mercury, and Pluto, Doctor Professor Gore denied having anything to do with Disney characters but did seem to acknowledge that, "Yes, we're doing that too. It's all our fault."

Luckily, Doctor Professor Mr. Gore has a cure... we must all invest in his carbon neutral company in order to save the world and not die from a horrible death that somehow must surely involve Tabasco Sauce, paper cuts, and vinegar.

Democrats swooned after the hearing and many were found bowing to the floor in front of Doctor Professor Mr. Gore in an outright show of worship. "He is our next god, we bow to him", they were heard saying.

Click HERE for the details - albeit less sarcastic than I have presented them.

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