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Monday, March 19, 2007

Green Girls Gone Wild

A recent survey of an unknown group of men has found that worrying about global warming has been keeping 1 in 7 men awake, worrying, at night (approximately 15%).

Coincidentally, the famous Dr. Michael Savage has found that approximately 1 in 7 people (on average) are experiencing some form of mental illness in the United States. Not to confuse the issue at hand, this is just an interesting point to ponder before we go any further. Could this same group be worried sick about what global warming is doing to to the human race?

Coincidentally, approximately 1 in 7 people listen to the Coast to Coast Radio Show wherein Art Bell (high priest of UFOs and Big Foot) continues to hysterically warn us that the Earth is boiling away and we're all doomed to a horrible death and the poor polar bears will have to move into boxes under overpasses in places like San Juan and Miami.

Coincidentally, Professor Sheryl Crow (the pop singer turned nuclear physicist) is teaming up with environmental activist Laurie David for this spring's "Stop Global Warming College Tour." This scientifically ignorant project is rumored to instigate and motivate college students to become an intolerant and anarchist part of a radical movement to stop global warming, demand solutions, and overthrow Republicans.

Their second plan is to make wild movies during Spring Break called "Girls Gone Green"... wherein drunk girls burn down factories, sink ships, and generally terrorize knowledgeable scientists that disagree with their climate world view - at any cost.


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