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Monday, June 18, 2007

Global Warming is NECESSARY to the UN

Global warming... hey, it's necessary to the United Nations. Why, what else could they blame for their own gross incompetence and sheer uselessness. Take the Darfur slaughter that has been going on for some considerable time now. Actually, for almost 4 years. So, where were the United Nations peace-keeping troops? Where was Koffi Anonymous in all that time?

Actually, the UN finally did decide to send 17,000 troops in August 2006, after three years of trying very very hard to look the other way (click HERE for a summary). But, Sudan strongly objected to this so the UN said 'OK fine', and so nothing happened. Oh, yes, more recently the UN did condemn activities in Sudan in March 2007. Wow... amazing organization, that UN, huh?

But, now, amazingly, the UN (needed someone or something to blame) has decided that, well, doggone it, the whole culprit in this Darfur thing is... global warming. So, according to the UN, global warming made the Darfur Liberation Front attack Golo (HQ of Jebel Mara). Such is the power of global warming, eh? And global warming isn;t stopping there. The U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon blames the ethnic and religious violence in Darfur on global warming and insists more conflicts of this kind are coming because of global warming. Click HERE for this incredible story.

Actually, I have to hand it to the UN... this really does open the door to a lot of useful blame. I can see it now. Next time I come home from the bar, early in the morning, lampshade on my head, with my wife standing in the doorway with a rolling pin in hand asking "where have I been", I can easily reply: "Nope, not me, blame global warming". Or, if I decide to simply not pay for groceries next time I'm at the store and waltz out, I can explain to the judge that "It wasn't me, it was global warming". I can see where this can even influence children who for ages have relied on that phrase "the dog ate my homework" when coming up empty handed in class. Now they can simply stun the class with two simple words when asked where the assignment is: "global warming". The dog will never need to be the missing homework whipping boy... not while the big bad scary horrible global warming is an excuse for everything.

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